It's a been a loooong time

It's been a while. Mostly, because nothing exciting has happened in a really long time. It's mostly me just going to work and coming home...and then repeat. But I'm planning on making some changes. I'm going to wake up earlier, go walking ...and eventually run, lost this fat, and save money.

And also....start posting again.

The Two Extremes

So far in my inexperienced dating life I’ve come across two extremes. One extreme is the guy who can last a few weeks or so before he shows you his super power of disappearing. And then on the far end of this extreme is the guy who is practically planning your wedding after knowing him for all of 4 days. Where is the in between guy? The one who likes me, wants to spend time with, but doesn’t confess his love for me on the first date? Let’s talk about these two guys, shall we?

The Fader, sounds like a super hero…to bad he’s too much of a pussy to be one. He tells you that you’re so important to him and that he cares oh so deeply for you. Days go by and just when you think you’ve found a decent guy, it happens. You won’t know how or why …and maybe for a few days you might not realize that it did happen. You look at your phone, maybe it’s broken? Check your email, maybe the site is down? No and no. That was his super power of disappearance. One minute he’s there and the next, Poof! All you’re left is with a broken heart and a cartoon puff of smoke.

Then we have The Clinger. This guy is a complete breath of fresh air, especially after you dated The Fader. He tells you how beautiful you are, how lucky he is that he found, and what a loser that other guy was. All this after knowing you for a few hours, maybe days. But you feed into it because geeze, it’s been so long since you’ve had a nice guy like this, the complete opposite of The Fader. So you decide to go on a date with The Clinger and that’s when your intuition goes off. Something isn’t right but you’re not sure, he is a nice guy after all. He holds your hand, stares oh so lovingly at you, tells you that you’re so amazing and he wants to be with you and only you. And there it is. In the few days you’ve known him, he texts you at almost all hours of the day, wanting to know what you’re doing, who you’re with, and what you’re thinking about. He’s ….The Clinger.

Now my question is…how in the hell did I go from one extreme to the next? Where is the in between guy? The one that wants to be with me but doesn’t blow up my cell phone with phone calls and text messages at all hours of the day? If you know where he is can you let me know…I would like to meet this dude. Thanks.

I Almost Killed a Man Today

My goal at work yesterday was to dress all the mannequins in the store. I hate dressing the ones on the shelves, but that’s because my lazy ass hates climbing up and down a ladder with the crotch of a male bust form in my face. Then having to do it all over again when I put them back on the shelf. So the game plan was to get all the self mannequins dressed since I despise them so.

As I reached to pull one of the mannequins down, the shelf wobbled. I paused, frozen, mannequin awkwardly steadying between the shelf and my boobs (the other shelf). When everything seemed fine I pulled on the mannequin a little more, took one step down from the ladder, when the other mannequin made a prison break and jumped off the shelf. I quickly dropped the mannequin I was holding, the shelf went tumbling down, and the other mannequin landed about two inches from where the cute guy shopping was standing.

When everything settled, the cute guy turned, smiled, and asked if it was his fault. I should have said yes. At least all he did was laugh it all off and help me pick things up. After I tried to kill him, accidentally.

I Didn’t Do It

Anyone who knows me or someone who’s just glanced at anything I’ve written here knows that I’m clumsy and scatterbrained. I get confused easily and tend to trip over invisible items that someone (probably me) left on the floor. So, imagine my excitement when it finally didn’t happen to me!

It happened so someone we will call Merry. I came into work and Merry was having some issues getting the lights turned on and came to the conclusion that it was a blown fuse since the emergency light was on. So we checked out the fuse box and fiddled with a few switches. One of which when I flipped turned everything off, and I mean EVERYTHING. So when the lights didn’t come back on, we came back to the original conclusion of the blown fuse.

Merry walked by the door, laughed, and flipped up the light switch. There was light.

Butterfly Kisses

It was a clear, crisp day and I was stepping out of the house on my way to work, or shopping, or going to a movie, or something…I forget. Basically, I was leaving the house to go somewhere. And since it was such a nice, slightly chilly day and the sun was shining and birds were singing, several bugs were out and about pollinating plants and crap. Now what happened next is something I never thought would ever happen. I was attacked. Yes, you read the correctly, I was attacked…by two butterflies.

I made sure the door was locked and turned to walk down the steps. And then it happened. They came at me from both sides. One attacked the right side of my face and the other flew in from the left. Distracted by the sudden assault, I threw up my hands to swat them away only to miss the top step and trip down the rest of them.

And just as sudden as the attack began, the wicked butterflies were gone.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

The Puzzle

One of my friends,Patty, introduced me to a game. In this game you follow Professor Layton and his little apprentice Luke. There's some mystery about some town and to figure it out you have to solve all these little puzzles along the way. A few weeks ago I bought the new one, Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box(or something like that). For three days I would spend several hours of extreme frustration over a certain puzzle.

You have to move this pile of trash from the top part of the puzzle to the trash can on the bottom, while moving and shifting little blocks around and out of the way. I spent HOURS screaming at my DS, pleading with it, determined to figure this little bastard out. Before I was on the verge of pulling my hair out, I solved it. Oh happy day I solved that damn puzzle.

In my extreme excitement and happiness I texted the boyfriend to tell him I solved that super hard puzzle. He, being the curious guy he is, said he wanted to try the puzzle the next time he came to visit. So when he did I handed him the DS and smuggly sat next to him, watching over his shoulder and thinking to myself...ha, he's doing it wrong..he shouldn't move that piece there...

Four minutes later...he solved it. FOUR MINUTES LATER. Not only is he cute, he's mega smart too. I hate that game.