I Can Hear You

It seems that people have now decided to flaunt that they're having sex around me. I don't mean they're having sex right in front of me. No, no that would be craziness. Instead, people have decided to share in their sexy times with me by letting me hear about it.

Case number 1: We were staying in a hostel in Rome and considering the city, the room was in pretty good shape. All the bunk beds were lined against the same wall and in between each bed was a set of two lockers, one on top of the other which prevented you from seeing anyone in the bed next to yours. I couldn't sleep much on the last night in Rome and finally began dozing off around midnight. About 3 am the other roommates came back, drunk, loud, laughing. Bitches. As I finally got into a comfortable spot in bed I heard a noise coming from the bed the only boy in the room was sleeping in. I couldn't quite make it out but then heard the giggles of one of the girls. And then I heard it. It was loud and fast. Thwap, thwap, thwap, thwap!!!! Now, it's fine and dandy to get your rocks off but come on now. Have some consideration for others. I don't care if you're having sex or getting a 'happy ending' I just don't want to hear it.

So I reached over my pile of crap that was resting peacefully next to my bed and reached for my ipod. In the process, I knocked over a pair of sunglasses, bottle of aloe vera(I burn easily...), and a bottle of water. Suddenly, the giggling stopped and I heard a lot of 'shushing.' My arm froze in midair, my hand clutching my ipod tightly. Then I noticed a faint light coming from the party bed. And then it was quiet. As I began to slip the ear pieces into my ears and hit the play button on my ipod I heard snoring. Typical man.

Case number 2: It's been a long 3 weeks travelling through Europe. Especially, the last few days. I only got home last night and waking up this morning everything hurts, especially my right shoulder. After yesterdays 'Amazing Race' moment, rushing to the airport, changing our flights, running through security with a 17 kilo backpack hanging on just my right shoulder. So, today became my 'lazy I'm not even brushing my damn hair' day. I've spent most of the day curled up in my bed reading from my new book when I heard it.

It was soft, faint, a little distance. Maybe the guy downstairs was 'entertaining' a lady friend. And from the sounds of it she was mighty entertained. But then it got a little louder, and a little louder, a little bit more louder and I realized it was coming from the room directly across from mine. The only ones home at the moment are myself, the only other girl roommate and her gal pal.

I thought maybe they were watching a movie. Until I heard one of them say the others name and figured that couldn't be a coincidence. I dug my nose deeper into my book and they got louder. I quietly read to myself so I could hear my own voice and not theirs and they still got louder. I read a little louder and was debating if I wanted to start screaming the words that were on the page I was reading (which would have been.....WE HAVE POTENTIAL ACCESS TO SORCERERS, NECROMANCERS, SHAMANS, WITCHES, EVERY CONCEIVABLE VESSEL OF MAGIC) when it suddenly became quiet.

I get it. You're having sex. Lucky you. Now please turn your volume down a notch, or 10, and let me read my damn book in peace.

*P.S. I just heard the Asian kid downstairs throw up. Again.