The Ninja PostMan

A few weeks before I was to backpack around Europe I ordered a pair of new sneakers. I spent WEEKS searching online for the right pair. I finally settled on a pair of black and white Kangaroos.

I came home to find a red and white piece of paper that said, 'Sorry you were out!' Hm, weird but at least it gave me a web address where I could schedule a redelivery of my new shoes. It was set up for two days later, on a day I wouldn't have to be in class.

I woke up that day, excited. I would have my new shoes today! I heard a light tapping on the door downstairs, which was odd considering that door is never closed. I know, I know safety first always keep that door locked. But you tell the assholes downstairs that.

Anyway, as my foot gets to the bottom landing I saw it. The Ninja Postman's ninja star. Red and white, gleaming with mockery. I pick it up off the floor, unfold it, and fill with rage. "Sorry, you were out.' I was not out! I was here! Upstairs, waiting!! BASTARD.

I scheduled another redelivery. And this time I would be waiting for him. I noticed the time on both cards, roughly around 11am. At 10:30 on the scheduled day I made my way downstairs. The plan was to sit and wait for the Ninja Postman and demand he give me my shoes, the very shoes he's been holding hostage. And there it was.

GOD DAMNIT! DAMN YOU NINJA POSTMAN!!!

This time I called them. Another redelivery was scheduled and I gave them specific instructinos that if I wasn't there to take the box to the super intendants office and they would be able to sign for it. I went to class that day and came home to find, yet another ninja star.

This has gone on far enough, it's been two weeks! Two whole weeks of this shinanagans!! I called them again and unfortunately I wasn't so nice. I called the company I bought the shoes from and explained the situation. Then when that was cleared up I went downstairs with tape and the ninja stars. I taped up a message for the Ninja Postman and left his ninja stars as a warning.

The next day I awoke to loud knocks on the door by my flat. There he was...the bastard that's been keeping my shoes from me. He glared at me, I glared at him, both readying ourselves for a possible battle.

He left and I took my package to my room. I tore the plastic off the box and ripped open the box. Finally, after all these weeks (ok...it was only 2..) I had my shoes! I took one showly out the box...I could hear the angels singing. And just like that it stopped.

These weren't the shoes I ordered. They weren't even the same style! Cute, black, wedge heel, not really ideal for walking around europe in though. Bastard Ninja Postman strikes again!